Feeling torn, vulnerable and naked,
Giving up everything I deemed to be sacred,
Hoping and praying for my pain to ease,
Only to find life’s a merciless tease,
Once again falling victim to the world’s darkest pleasures,
Unwilling to take the precautionary measures,
Finding myself all alone with my demons,
My mind occupied with the same old reasons,
Am I destined to follow the same path? Is it fate?
That I sit in the shadows awaiting a due date?
Oh no, it is not my reflection I fear,
It’s the people so close, the ones I hold dear,
My hearts being twisted, it’s torture to feel,
The pain deep inside is all too real,
I wish to someone you look at with trust,
Not leave me behind in a cloud full of dust,
I’m building a bridge to avoid the rising tide,
You’re losing your chance to choose a side,
I won’t be a bus stop, or your stepping stone,
If you don’t pay attention, we’ll both be alone,
Be sure you’re aware of what is at stake,
It’s not just my heart you’re risking to break,
Love runs so deep it is etched in your soul,
Without it no being can ever be whole,
Deep down you’re aware of the damage you cause,
Yet unwilling or able to put the habit on pause,
Within you there lies a personality that’s unique,
So why would you choose to turn the other cheek?
The real you is truly a wonder to behold,
A story I know you’ve already been told,
Every addict eventually becomes one with their substance,
And being that person becomes their reliance,
I love you so much I can’t bear to walk away,
But I know I am doomed if I choose to stay,
Look in the mirror and see the man you’ve become,
Stare at your reflection and see what you have done,
I’m trapped on the sidelines – I’m not in the game,
Sometimes I’m not sure you even remember my name,
Desperately trying to gain your attention,
Wanting so badly your love and affection,
You don’t see my tears, you don’t hear my cries,
Every time I’m ignored another part of me dies,
Next time you are flying don’t forget to look around,
Because next time you might only see hollow ground.
For my biological father and the many other people lost due to excessive drug use and addiction.
To read more poetry by Kylie Abecca you can click on the poetry tab above or purchase a copy of her book 'Complete Poetry Works' under the book tab on this website.