My Fat Arse

Okay so let’s just get one thing out of the way first. I am not a super model. Shock horror. It seems like every damn woman I see is perfect model material in one way or another.

‘Ooh – I like her ears! I wish I had ears like her!’

Yeah I’m one of ‘those’ girls who stares at you until you’re uncomfortable and start looking in the mirror wondering if your mascara has smudged across your face to make you look a little less perfect.

I’m also the girl who can’t be arsed wearing makeup. What is that powdery glitter stuff for anyway? How the heck is that supposed to look natural?

Matching underwear? Are you kidding? It cost me $120 just for the bra, I’m not about to spend $24 on matching fart fabric, when I can buy a ten pack from Kmart for $7.

Hair? Umm, yeah, I got some – I can even grow that stuff on my toes and upper lip – I’m skilled like that.

Oh and exercise – that stuff is a scam and a half! Exercise is more of a rip off than Telstra and Australia Post combined! I bought a rowing machine and after two and a half minutes it almost killed me and I still looked less human than hippo in a g-string.

I waste away hours wishing I was slim, fit, loved to exercise, hated fatty foods and constantly craved lettuce. I wish I had the stamina and willpower to become a gym junkie and work out 9 hours a day, 6 and a half days a week. I’d love to be the sort of person who gets a high when I ‘feel the burn’.

But I’m not.

If I feel something burning, I know I’m about to die!

But I still try.

I try to eat as healthy as I can, I try to exercise as much and as often as my body allows. I do the best I can with what I’ve got.

And that’s all that matters.

Fantasies are healthy and without them we would want for nothing and life would get pretty boring real quick. Just don’t let your fantasies take over your reality.

Live your life. Follow your dreams. Be YOU!

There is always enough time in a day to spot a sexy set of ears and wish they were on your own head, but then you keep moving forward, dragging your own imperfect ears along with you and don’t stop.

So to all the people who have seen me recently and decided to comment “You’ve put on weight since I saw you last”. Yes – I have – and funnily enough I’m damn well aware of it. Like, do you honestly think I somehow haven’t noticed?

So yes, I’m still a frumpy little fatty with a chubby smile and a lovely big fat middle finger! Actually I do think my middle finger looks pretty darn cool).

And you know what – I’m going to keep doing what I love and live this spectacular life MY way and keep doing the best I can and unless you fully know my situation and my circumstances, you don’t have the right to judge.

And if you still feel the need to judge me purely by my weight and the size of my hips you can stare at my lovely big fat arse as I walk in the opposite direction and share my smile with someone more worthy.

Happiness is not about hiding the past,

It’s accepting today and making it last,

You should not fear who you have become,

Have pride in yourself for all you have done,

Stand tall and be proud to be who you are,

Release your fears and brighten your star.

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P.O.Box 425, Albany DC, Western Australia, 6331

© 2018 by Kylie Abecca.